Words and terms can sometimes be confusing if they are not well-defined and comprehended. Based on my understanding of Robert Joyce's book "Human Sexual Ecology", I will define six concepts that signify ways for human beings to relate to each other.
1) homosexual:
Homo means sameness and sexual refers to the personal power to share (physically, psychically and spiritually) the gift of self with self and others. It is basically the power of sharing self. In this sense, we are all homosexuals because we all have the power to share ourselves, as human beings, with others and ourselves in diverse ways. The word "homo" limits, however, the relationship to a defined group such as between two men or two women. It is a non-genital relationship of healthy, common, everyday friendships as seen on a normal basis. Examples would be two good male friends sharing a fishing trip or two women getting together to converse and bake a pie, etc.
*The term homosexual utilized in reference to "gays" and "lesbians", in this sense, therefore, is incorrectly and wrongly applied because it reduces itself simply to the ero-genital aspects ( wrong in themselves) with the exclusion of the more important human dimension of the lack of respect for one's dignity, rights to an authentic, selfless love and personhood.
* Homo-erotic is the correct term for those that we incorrectly refer to as "homosexuals".
2) homo-erotic:
Erotic means possessiveness. A homoerotic is a man who desires or wishes to emotionally or psychologically possess another man (or a woman in relation to a woman) for his own infantile needs or selfish purposes. A homoerotic person does not love, in the true sense and mature meaning of the word. Due to his emotional paralysis and non-affirmation, he is actually incapable of this. He can only love in this immature, undeveloped, limited way. He actually loves a fantasy created around and in relation to that person, and not the real flesh and blood individual in front of him. He wants this person to be exactly as he wishes him to be, without respect or consideration of his freedom and individual characteristics and needs. This person exists only to fulfill and meet all his emotional necessities. Why does the homoerotic love in this strange, isolated and ego-centric way? I believe that it is the spoiled manner by which he himself was loved by his own mother. Therefore, it is the only way he knows how to love another. He is unable to break out of this prison of sterile love and suffers from the hunger and need for a true and satisfying love that is really nourishing, liberating and fulfilling. Since he never learned to loved in a mature way (and never had a real example to follow or observe and learn from), he is stuck in his dilemma. He knows not how to love, but unconsciously would deeply wish to.
3) homo-erotic genital:
The homo-erotic genital is a man who genitally exploits another man for his physical and venereal pleasure (or a woman in regards to another woman). What causes this sort of thing is not totally understood. It is something deeply repugnant. It causes one to shudder with a chill. One of the possible reasons for this type of attraction could be the lack of the affirmative healing touch that the homo-erotic did not receive in his life from his parents and in his dire need for physical affirmation, he gives himself over to erotic type possession. I am still looking for the answer. I do, however, have a great sympathy for those who want to free themselves from this sort of thing and do everything possible (through prayer and treatments), to live a normal and healthy relationship.
4) The heretosexual:
The word hetero means different or varied. Heterosexuals are men and women who relate to each other in healthy ways, such as friendships. It is extremely normal and natural for men and women to be friends in a very sexual way (because it is a non-genital relationship). I hope that people someday will understand this and that men and women discover each other and their precious values in this new Copernican way to relate that is joyful, fun, loving, spontaneous, fulfilling and authentically liberating. The miserable and impoverished Freudian concept that we are merely genital beings has turned us all into seducers and predators, closing us off to any possible relation or communion with each other. In its place, we have created a paranoiac society of suspicious beings.
5) The heteroerotic:
The hetero-erotic is a man that wants to emotionally or psychologically possess a woman (or vice-versa, a woman who wants to emotionally or psychologically possess a man). It is those classic historical examples of macho men who allow no freedom to their wives to be themselves as feminine beings (they could not study, have a job or other male friends, etc but obligated to be submissive and obedient.) On the other hand, women who are constantly jealous of their husbands and allow them no freedom to be themselves and develop their masculinity or have female friends, also betray this infantile and immature form of loving. Many marital crises are explained in the light of these emotional dependency type relationships.
6) The hetero-erotic genital:
The hetero-erotic genital is a man who genitally and physically exploits a woman (or vice-versa, a woman who also genitally seduces a man for her selfish venereal pleasure). They are the playboys of society whose only values are reduced to these miserable pods (food for pigs and hogs).
Father Anthony Mellace
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