“Dr. Joylove, Dr. Joylove!”
Dr. Joylove picked up the phone and responded: “Yes, Clare, what is it?”
“Dr. Joylove, your patient, the bishop, St. Augustine of Hippo, is in to see you!”
“Ok, have him come in!”
The door to the psychologist’s office opened, and a very heavy-set man with a sad and melancholic expression, walked in. He brushed his long white beard and sighed deeply as he slowly walked over to the sofa. Extending his hand to the therapist, he said:
“I am very happy to know you, doctor and I greet and bless you in the name of our holy Lord, Jesus Christ! Thank you so much for being able to attend me today.”
“The pleasure is mine, your Eminence. I am a great fan of your works and admire you greatly for your wisdom and profound intelligence; but tell me, what is it that brings you here today to my clinic?”
“A group of nuns have blamed me for the loss of many of their vocations, saying that my counsels have been extremely difficult to put into practice. A few had a moral and spiritual crisis and left the convent. This upset me emotionally and affected my mental health. It has been some nights now that I have not been able to neither sleep nor rest, perturbed by all these developments.”
Dr. Joylove quietly fixed his eyes on the bishop:
“I see. When was the last time you spoke to the nuns?”
“I was afraid to go and speak with them. I could have lost my temper and complicated things instead of making them better, so I wrote them a letter in place of the proposed visit.”
Dr. Joylove bent over to the bishop:
“May I read the text?”
“Of course, here it is, by all means you may look at the copy of it.”
Dr. Joylove opened the parchment and read silently the following paragraph:
“……Though a passing glance be directed towards any man, let your eyes look fixedly at none; for when you are walking you are not forbidden to see men, but you must neither let your desires go out to them, nor wish to be the objects of desire on their part….”
Dr. Joylove removed his glasses, buried his face in his hands, and after a few silent moments, looked up to the bishop:
“Your Eminence, what did you mean by the words: Neither let your desires go out to them..? Are you telling me that it is possible to see something without desiring it? How can you disassociate the two without turning someone into a robot or statue or lifeless zombie? Is not the function of our senses exactly to awaken and stimulate within us, in an involuntary, spontaneous way, emotional responses to the object? Is not desire, as an emotion, a valid psycho-physical response to a good before us, independent of the will, and therefore outside the realm of morality and sin? In other words, for a nun to spontaneously and involuntarily feel a normal human desire for a man is something very valid and good! There is nothing wrong in this at all! This desire must neither be fought nor repressed if you do not want to have a whole convent of religious women going through a psychological crisis.
Of course, if the nun in question purposely and willfully stirs up desires for a man, then she is being dishonest and incoherent with her very vocation and religious vows. This, however, is a different situation.
There is also nothing wrong with a man desiring the beauty he perceives in a nun. It is something that he simply permits and allows himself to feel spontaneously. Now, if he too, purposely and willfully stirs up his desires for the nun, then he is in the area of morality and sin in his action. “
Dr. Joylove continued further on in the text:
“………. For it is not only by touch that a woman awakens in any man or cherishes towards him such desire, this may be done by inward feelings and by looks. And say not that you have chaste minds though you may have wanton eyes, for a wanton eye is the index of a wanton heart. And when wanton hearts exchange signals with each other in looks, though the tongue is silent, and are, by the force of sensual passion, pleased by the reciprocation of inflamed desire, their purity of character is gone, though their bodies are not defiled by any act of uncleanness…”
Dr. Joylove placed the letter on the table, and looked into the soft, inquisitive eyes of the bishop:
“Your Eminence, I agree fully with what you say, but the problem is your failure to distinguish the spontaneous aspect of our sense impulses from the willed actions that may or may not follow. You conclude this automatically and do violence to our normal psychological responses, developments and patterns. You pre-suppose that the spontaneous emotive sense desire is already a moral act that needs to be dealt with. In truth, you are really doing away with human freedom and the autonomy of sense responses. No wonder Martin Luther picked up on this one!”
Dr. Joylove (with a bit of humor):
“A great admirer of yours! Now what did you mean by the phrase the force of sensual passion…? Are you so suspicious of human nature that you do not believe that anyone, be he or she a nun, priest or layman, capable of simply allowing these desires to be, without needing to do anything about them? Why do you suffer from such anxiety in this matter? Has your past wounded you so profoundly that you created a trauma in regards to desires and feelings?
Dr. Joylove picked up the text and continued reading it silently:
“…….Nor let her, who fixes her eyes upon one of the other sex, and takes pleasure in his eye being fixed on her, imagine that the act is not observed by others; she is seen assuredly by those by whom she supposes herself not to be remarked. But even though she should elude notice, and be seen by no human eye, what shall she do with that Witness above us from whom nothing can be concealed? Is He to be regarded as not seeing because His eye rests on all things with a long-suffering proportioned to His wisdom? Let every holy woman guard herself from desiring sinfully to please man by cherishing a fear of displeasing God; let her check the desire of sinfully looking upon man by remembering that God's eye is looking upon all things. For in this very matter we are exhorted to cherish fear of God by the words of Scripture: -- “He that looks with a fixed eye is an abomination to the Lord." 1 When, therefore, you are together in the church, or in any other place where men also are present, guard your chastity by watching over one another, and God, who dwells in you, will thus guard you by means of yourselves..”
Dr. Joylove set the letter on his table and sat back in his swivel chair. With a look of dismay he said to St. Augustine
“To be frank with you, I am really ashamed of the piece I just finished reading. Don’t you think this is a bit exaggerated and cowardly now to paint a picture of God as some sort of heavenly watch dog, who is scouting us out for every furtive look we may sneaking permit? Was not your whole life mission to present to everyone the infinite God of mercy and love rather than the great chastiser who will strike us with his thunderbolts if our eyes wander? Do you want people to fear God or to relate to Him with a perfect and mature love?
Dr. Joylove picked up the final part of the letter.
“I really do not know if I can go on with this. The one who will have the neurotic break-down will be me pretty soon!”
"......And if you perceive in any one of your number this forwardness of eye, warn her at once, so that the evil which has begun may not go on, but be checked immediately. But if, after this admonition, you see her repeat the offence, or do the same thing on any other subsequent day, whoever may have had the opportunity of seeing this must now report her as one who has been wounded and requires to be healed, but not without pointing her out to another, and perhaps a third sister, so that she may be convicted by the testimony of two or three witnesses, and may be reprimanded with necessary severity. And do not think that in thus informing upon one another you are guilty of malevolence. For the truth rather is, that you are not guiltless if by keeping silence you allow sisters to perish, whom you may correct by giving information of their hulls. For if your sister had a wound on her person which she wished to conceal through fear of the surgeon's lance, would it not be cruel if you kept silence about it, and true compassion if you made it known ? How much more, then, are you bound to make known her sin, that she may not suffer more fatally from a neglected spiritual wound. But before she is pointed out to others as witnesses by whom she may be convicted if she deny the charge, the offender ought to be brought before the prioress, if after admonition she has refused to be corrected, so that by her being in this way more privately rebuked, the fault which she has committed may not become known to all the others. If, however, she then denies the charge, then others must be employed to observe her conduct after the denial, so that now before the whole sisterhood she may not be accused by one witness, but convicted by two or three. When convicted of the fault, it is her duty to submit to the corrective discipline which may be appointed by the prioress or the prior. If she refuse to submit to this, and does not go away from you of her own accord, let her be expelled from your society. For this is not done cruelly but mercifully, to protect very many from perishing through infection of the plague with which one has been stricken. Moreover, what I have now said in regard to abstaining from wanton looks should be carefully observed, with due love for the persons and hatred of the sin, in observing, forbidding, reporting, proving, and punishing of all other faults. But if any one among you has gone on into so great sin as to receive secretly from any man letters or gifts of any description, let her be pardoned and prayed for if she confess this of her own accord. If, however, she is found out and is convicted of such conduct, let her be more severely punished, according to the sentence of the prioress, or of the prior, or even of the bishop.
Dr. Joylove returned the parchment to St. Augustine
"Now, now your Eminence, who are we to judge the feelings, internal actions and desires of another human being? How can we draw such conclusions and even mete out punishments for such speculations on the sacred internal forum and regime of a person's personal thoughts, feelings and actions! This whole text is just a sticky mess of beaurocratic thought and complicated reasoning. Just forget it, and help people to live a sound, healthy, free, fulfilling emotional life and existence. Forget punishments, judgments and chastisements and work more on mature development, unity, and goodness, healing and strengthening. I am sure if you do this, you will save the nuns, their peace of mind, vocation and your reputation and friendship with them..."
Tears slowly rolled down St. Augustine
"Yes, doctor, you are right. After so many years, I find it so hard to forgive myself and my past. It is for this reason that I then take it out on others in the form of harsh counsels. I will reflect on all you said and ask my Lord to illuminate my mind and heart further on these mysterious intuitions of yours. I thank you so gratefully for your time and concern, and want to say how good it was to speak with you!"
Father Anthony Mellace
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